Things I Never Thought I Would Have To Say: An Ongoing Entry

-Let's not bring those knives into the bathtub.
-Please don't use the dog as a napkin.
-Please take your toothbrush out of your butt.
-We don't stick our faces in other people's butts.
-You know what's really cool about eating carrots? They turn your poop orange.
-Please don't tell people what parts of Mommy's body look like naked.
-They won't let you in the store if you are completely naked.
-They will make us leave the store if you take all your clothes off.
-They won't let us pay for our food until you put your pants back on.